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Friday, 20 February 2009

My name is UMNO (by Mr. Smith)

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL..... It's so funny that I couldn't stop laughing... Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.........................................................


My name is UMNO.
And this is my message to all you People of Malaysia who think I can be defeated by you.

Remember everyone shudders at the mere mention of my name - the Police, MACC, the Election Commission, the AG chambers, the Judiciary, the newspaper editors and even the Rulers.

I order them and they obey me. Now, how is that you people of Malaysia are so stubborn and refuse to respect me and allow me to rule this country as I please.

You think I am bothered by all your police reports against me? You think the police will investigate me. You think all your reports on my corrupt practices bother me? You think the MACC will have the guts to investigate me?

You think you can bring me to court. Which court will rule against me? You stupid people! I am the Law. I am above the Constitution. Don’t you forget that.

Oh! the Rulers? When I feel like it I criticize them. When I am in need of them I cry ‘Daulat Tuanku’ night and day. You see, I can do different things in different situations and my stupid children,the Mat Rempits, will come out in full force with yellow ribbons tight around their heads and shout ‘Daulat Tuanku’. All they need is a few ringgit and they will echo whatever I say.

These school dropouts are my obedient children. It’s only your educated, internet savvy people who give me trouble.

You see, stupid People of Malaysia, when I want the Malays to unite behind me, my children will wave the Jagur Gemilang and scream ‘Hidup Malaysia’. If I am threatened by you further I will get them to wave the UMNO flag, wield the keris and cry ‘Hidup Melayu’ and call you ‘Derhaka, Derhaka’.

So you see, I can use the yellow ribbon, the Jalur Gemilang, the UMNO flag and the keris to frighten my children into believing that they will have no future in this country if I am defeated.

Oh, you want to defeat me through elections? Ha! I have postal votes, phantom voters, and damn it, even if I lose I have the money to buy the victors. I can frighten them will bullets, nude pictures, sodomy/khalwat allegations and even kidnap them and their families if they refuse my offers.

If they are still stubborn I will make them disappear or take them in under the ISA. With the police at my beck and call, how can you ever win me, you stupid people.

HOW CAN YOU DEFEAT ME!!!!. EVEN GOD CANNOT DEFEAT ME!!!!!!!!!I am immortal and I will rule this country till Judgement Day. Got it?

13 comments:

Averlance Lighthawk said...

Because of the UMNO leaders, you condemn the entire party...

You forget that not everyone in UMNO is corrupt...

And you forget that you are not living in oppression by the other races because of UMNO...

Ahmad Syafiq said...

Dude, this is not my writing la... Haiya, why so quick to criticise one... Didn't I quote that it was Mr. Smith's? Read properly la... I was laughing because some of it are true anyhow and some of it are a joke.

Anyway, I never believed in the concept of race. For I am a Malaysian, regardless of my race. Of course, Malaysia is well-diverse in culture. But that is where I stand. A Malaysian. Not 3 quarter Malay and 1 quarter Chinese. I say again: "I AM A MALAYSIAN"

Averlance Lighthawk said...

But why post it on your blog?

It in a way show you support such "jokes"...

And I would have to say it is a mistake for you to not believe in the concept of races...

Don't ever think that everyone in this country are "world citizens"...

Some of them are just as racist as anyone else or even worse...

Only that they don't show it...for now...

This is one of the things I disagree and hate about UMNO...

They try to erase 13 Mei from people's memories...

They decide to not talk much about what happened at UM...

They forgot what happened last time in our education system before the quota system was introduced.....

They call themselves Malay "fighter" but yet are doing things that are killing Malays in this country...

How stupidly ironic...

Ahmad Syafiq said...

A mistake? Who do you think you are to say whether I made a mistake or not? Anyway, it always come down to the choice of the person whether he wants to believe in the concept of race or not.

Anyway, I was surprised that you realised that UMNO is actually killing the Malays instead of fighting for them. :P

Furthermore, I still believe in the concept of bangsa Malaysia. As I said time and time again, that's where I stand.

Look, it doesn't matter what race we are or what political party that we are attached to. The most important thing now is to seek justice and equality for all Malaysians. Whether that day will come, only God knows.

For me to not believe in the concept of race is not your decision to make. It's mine. Besides, whatever you want to address the people as Malay or Chinese or Indian or other races, it's up to you. Not me.

And blogs are for expressing our feelings about anything. [Of course there's a limit for everything, but once on the Net, it's just no holds barred]

Aaron Nair said...

Oh UMNO worshipper, let me be the bubble-burster if you may. You may silence us whenever we come out in the open and hurl well-documented and evidenced allegations at your beloved fiefdom. You will herd us into the repugnant ISA of yours, and scream and bray like a bunch of monkeys running amok, screaming 'Derhaka' and 'Mati Cina dan India'.

Yet, you and your cronies do not own the net. We will say as we please, and we most definitely do not subscribe to your pathetically biased interpretations of 'seditious remarks' or 'insolence against the Raja-raja Melayu'. You can thump your chests as ineptly as you wish in front of the computer, mouths frothing in anger as we utter the truth, but do we care? We have no time for theives, only real Malaysians.

Being in an entity as racistly conceived as UMNO is bad enough. To live off it's ill-gotten fruits is worse. How can one be party with such a racist entity, one that seeks to dominate a nation that belongs to ALL of us, just to serve the raw greed of these racist demagogues? How does one sleep at night, after having relations with this entity that is no better than the Zionists of Israel, or the Afrikaaner Apartheid Masters of the old Pretoria regime in South Africa?

I bet UMNOputeras would be grinning at the mere mention of 'gratitude' by Malays who feel indebted to UMNO for 'protecting' them from the other races. I would launch my well-proved rhetoric that the non-Malays do not intend at all to remove anything from the Malays, in fact help you realise that all these 'spoon-feeding' policies by UMNO are shortchanging not just the Malays, but each and every Malaysian that professes their love for Malaysia, yet...I would just be wasting saliva. After all, leopards never change their spots, do they? Especially after cavorting in riches meant for the very people that they've 'sworn to protect'.

Averlance Lighthawk said...

Oh ideal worshippers...

If the hammer of reality hits your heads and bring you back down to Earth...

Only then will you come crawling back to realists...

For now you may continue swimming in the world of idealists...

But you forget that your world of idealists is protected by realists...

You can boast all day long about your "ideals"...

But you forget that it is because of realists you can do so...

You forget that idealism can delude you from the most simple fact about this world:

You are a muslim and disbelievers are always against you...

You may think that this is absurd but you do not see that your idealism causes the absurd thoughts...

You may think that I am extreme, but you do not realise that your idealism is the opposite extreme of reality...

You do not realise the magnitude of the dangers and threats that we are currently facing...

You do not see how easily we can be crushed...

You forget what happened to us Malays before UMNO became strong...

You forget the reason why "MARA" and DEB exists...

YOU FORGET...

And when signs of danger come into sight, you dismiss it with all your ideals...

Like they say, humans will never be grateful for what they have till something worse happens to them...

Oh yes, it's true, this country can survive without UMNO...

But don't be surprised on how Malays will suffer then...




But honestly speaking, I can understand why you are so idealistic...

Aaron Nair said...

For someone to speak that way, it's a wonder how you can understand anything to begin with. You're just plain delusional, making foes and enemies out of those who pray to a different God, and with different skintones. We are so warm as to how we treat you, even though you look at us like we want to kill you and your people. How tearful to see that a fellow Malaysian decides play the victim here, when the real victims are US, so long as UMNO remains in power.

Common sense says this: "Under PR, every poor man will be aided, and the majority of aid would understandably go to our Malay brethren, because they need more aid than the other races. Fair and square, we help according to the ratio. Under UMNO however, nobody gets help. Only cronies and nepotistic figures." Yet, you, oh supposedly educated gentleman, fail to see the truth, instead you choose to listen to one-sided rhetoric about how wrong we are to put our faith in PR, and the Bangsa Malaysia ideology. Be like me, and be critical when I have to be critical of the very party that I support. Unlike the blind prostrating that you're committing for UMNO. How happy they will be to see such "sanjungan yang membabi buta".

Let me be real blunt, but the day the Malays get crushed is when they grow too cozy and dependent on the tongkats that UMNO has given you all, for instead of creating a level playing field for our Malay brethren, they've instead mollycoddled them into thinking that 'we need UMNO to bail us out EVERYTIME and EVERYWHERE because we will never come up to the level of those slitty-eyed infidels and the burnt-skinned pariahs from India'. You seem to think that our Malay brethren are too weak to defend themselves. Well I'm sorry, but you have no right to disrespect your own Malay brethren by thinking that they're weak and incompetent. There are many smart Malays ashamed of being associated with nefarious elements such as UMNO and the NEP. It makes them look stupid, weak and incapable. And they will reject UMNO to the end, not blindly worship it, for they know that their life is bettered out of their own effort, not handouts from UMNO. In short, UMNO, your sworn protectors have screwn you all over, and us too in the process, using the racist terms that your kind seem so adept at using.

Don't come and play 'conscience' with me. I suggest you go and find yours first. After all, a person who glorifies those who sleep with racists, thugs and cronies, and milks the pockets of our Malaysian people, is a person who has no moral right to postulate about what's right and wrong. Come off your arrogance, for such arrogance is blind and unwarranted.

"Love the Malays, Hate UMNO."

Ahmad Syafiq said...

For me, I am not wrong to not believe in the concept of race because I always believe that I can compete on an evenly-matched field, regardless of race. And I will work for it and earn my spurs.

Yes, I am a Muslim. But disbelievers? OMG Arifin. You got to think that not all disbelievers are against Islam. Get your statement right for once dude. I mean, you must not forget that the same disbelievers can be attracted to Islam if we show our good values and discipline. Never ever forget that.

Friends does not recognise race. They go over the barriers to forge a solid friendship regardless of race, political affiliation and ethnicity.

So, let me ask you. Is it wrong to befriend non-Muslims just because they are disbelievers of Islam? Dude, in Islam, we have to make new friends regardless of their religion background. It's a matter of forging strong friendships and respect each other's beliefs.

Look at Aaron. He's a Christian and does he show any uprising against out religion? No, he respects what I believe and I respect what he believes. As long as we show good values and examples to people and also establish respect against each other, why not?

You can't simply say that all disbelievers (which is at about 5 billion or so in this world) are enemies against Islam. Not all of them are against Islam anyhow.

Have you ever forgotten how Nabi Muhammad's uncle, Abu Talib protects him from the Quraisy even though he himself is a disbeliever of Islam? So, think about it Arifin. Think about it.

Ahmad Syafiq said...

And yes, I agree with Aaron. Arifin, you should always believe in your race's capabilities to match the other races on a level playing field. Not by disrespecting your own race by saying that the Malays need this and that. You're ridiculing their capabilities, and yourself.

Welcome to a place where democracy flourishes on the Net and blogs all around. :P

Averlance Lighthawk said...

Hm...how else can I explain it?

I am showing you the view point of UMNO in Johor...

We are stong here because of what happened to singapore..

And we really angry at what happened to Pulau Batu Putih...

We support UMNO because they are protecting us, but we don't always agree with them...

You may think that I am only tlking about the threat within the country...

But did it cross your mind of the threat from overseas?

Singapore is the simplest example...

This is actully the thing that PR will not be able to handle...

And if they do handle it, it won't help us Malays at all..

Ahmad Syafiq said...

I'll be interested to hear how other PR supporters would respond to your statement.

Nvm Arifin. We just love the check and balance democracy on the internet where you say out your views and Aaron & I say out our views. That is real democracy which can't be obtained in the mainstream media.

Blogs are places where one can express their own views about any matter/issue. So, this is the perfect place for democracy of speech. Any views can be countered by other views. There's your check and balance.

About the Pulau Batu Putih issue, the lawyers just lack the skills to give a convincing argument. Who to be blamed for this I don't know. So I got no more to say for that issue.

In regarding to threats from overseas, I beg to differ as I am more concerned about Muslims backstabbing their fellow Muslims. That is a more serious matter from where I'm standing. And also, the social problems in Malaysia which are worsening... A bad sign for the future. :P

Aaron Nair said...

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but do I sense an UMNO supporter's fear of that tiny red dot Singapore? I thought your UMNO was so powerful right? Why talk about the 'viewpoint' from Johor, let's talk about UMNO from the NATION's viewpoint. Let me be the first to suggest to UMNO to use their well-endowed coffers to hire decent, if not prominent, lawyers to make our case in any international tribunal.

We, and for most certainly I, can't stand tall when our nation is made a laughing stock by giving away a strategic piece of land because of a mere piece of paper!

UMNO Penggadai Tanah Malaysia!

And you dare say DAP is 'Singapore-mentality'. Go get better lawyers to defend our territory lah, instead of buying reps over.

Even if the day came when Singapore had the bloody gall to attack us, all we need to do is blow the Causeway and cut the water supply. Problem solved. The tiny red dot that you so fear our nation is becoming is long gone, much to the joy of the racist bigots.

Why do you give so much of a fart's worth about Singapore anyway? Still listening to that same old tune by UMNO, where you support DAP, and we become Singapore? We can be better than them anyday lah! And just so you know, the Malays there despise UMNO, cos UMNO makes them look like inept buggers. Just take a look at the Pertubuhan Kebangsaan Melayu Singapura. That is the splinter party off UMNO in Singapore. Do the Malays of Singapore flock to PKMS as their 'defenders'? Nah, PAP rules the day, and the creme de la creme of the Malay community in Singapore would rather stake their futures with the PAP, which has its share of prominent Malay leaders starting from the good ol' Yusof Ishak.

Very 'marginalised', don't you think?

'UMNO is protecting us'? Dude, open your eyes lah. If they're really protectors of your race, why is AIDS more prevalent among the Malays? Why do Malays still exist as the poorest of the races in this great nation? And please, don't blame it on the non-Malays. We have better things to do than to steal your 'rights', whatever 'good' they bring you. We'd rather work with you, not against you, as your UMNO so cowardly claims in the pursuit of its selfish agenda.

Ahmad Syafiq said...

How can we be afraid of Singapore? They're just a small island compared to the big land of Malaysia which also includes Sabah and Sarawak. Besides, technology can't beat the numbers if Singapore are to invade Malaysia anyhow.

As Aaron said, we can simply blow the causeway and cut the water supply and they'll be helpless. Why do we have to be so scared of Singapore? They should be scared of us.

Being so afraid of Singapore shows that we're weak. We do not want to be perceived as weak, do we? You'll see if Singapore attacks, Malaysian citizens and soldiers regardless of race and religion will be up-in-arms to defend their beloved country from invasion.

And I don't agree one bit that UMNO are protecting Malays. It's more like making them lazy and incapable to face the real world. If they are left alone without any help or so, do you think they will still sit down and hope for help to come? NO! They will always do something about it. That is how the strong-willed and smart Malays pull themselves out from nothing and that's why they are not afraid to support the opposition

Of course, it is encouraged that we help the people in need, and that will be the work of NGOs or ourselves. But once they can stand on their own, we can just guide them but not help them. Then you'll see how he/she is capable of.

Everyone is capable of competing on a level playing field, it's just that their capabilities were killed off by un-beneficial policies. You see the problems that are still facing Malaysians today, especially social problems pointed out by Aaron. Can we blame the parents for that if they have already educated them the essentials?

Let's just say we only have ourselves to blame for not taking the initiative. Can we blame non-Malays (since you addressed them that Ariffin) for controlling the majority of the economy? NO is the answer.

And so, I say my point, most smart Malays will never support UMNO and the party will never regain their votes. Simple as that. End of the line.

Even if UMNO are to be wiped out from Earth one day (which seems unlikely due to various reasons), I will not ask anyone for help if I were to progress. I must depend on myself to survive in the real world. With God as our guide, me, you, Aaron, or anyone, are capable of anything.